Ever heard of a Feminine Urinary Device, or FUD? Sounds a little bizarre - maybe gross, at first - but depending on the type of fishing you, do it could be a handy item that you always have in your kayak, car, camping gear, etc. So, what is an FUD? Basically, it's a silicone device that's allows us ladies to relieve our bladders standing up and also sitting or kneeling. Sitting or kneeling with an FUD would allow you to go into a bottle or cup, for example, more discretely. There are quite a few on the market, including the “Go Girl” and the “Shewee” - catchy names, I must say!
If you've read any of my other articles on YakAngler, you know I love to give personal experiences when I write (you've been warned…). On that note, I will tell you the reason I purchased a Go Girl myself years ago. Kayak fishing had no influence on my reason to purchase one, but now that I do fish from a kayak I keep one in my boat!
About four years ago, my husband, in-laws, and parents purchased tickets for a Jimmy Buffet concert. We were decked out in our pirate gear and made a day of it! Everyone knows what goes on before the show... there may have been SOME alcohol consumption taking place before we reported to the arena. Hours go by, and the tailgating was awesome! Great food, cold beer, margaritas, pirates, parrot heads... then I had to go to the bathroom. My bladder had reached its overflow point, and we had about forty five minutes before we wanted to head into the arena for the show. I made my way over to a row of four or five Porta Potties, and the lines were ridiculous! I wanted to cry. Instead, I powered through it. I waited thirty five minutes in line - legs crossed, teeth clenched - and finally the little red notice on the door gave me the go with a green! As I made the ten-yard sprint, I heard the guy walk out before me saying the potty was overflowing! WHAT?!
I was thinking to myself, ‘These people are actually using over flowing Porta Potties – women included!” It's NOT easy to hover over those nasty seats as it is, let alone the fear of the splash from the cesspool below! I opened the door to the potty. Yup. Overflowed nastiness of toilet paper and all kinds of other tailgate festivities that I don't need to go into detail about. No way. Not doing it.
I made a dash back to the car, and stared at my in-laws, my parents... I didn't have a choice. I grabbed Stan, explained the situation at hand, and gave him instructions! I cracked the window of the driver side back seat about 10”, grabbed two Solo® cups and got into my Toyota “Highlander” between the first and second row of seats. It was a tight squeeze to begin with, but I was trying to be discrete as possible. The pirate costume did not help the situation! Two pairs of panty hose - really, Holly?
I couldn't have planned a worse outfit for this. One cup filled QUICKLY, and I passed it out to Stan and started on the other as Stan went and dumped the first into the bushes. You get the idea, but seven cups dumped total made it an unpleasant experience - especially not be able to really move (and thank goodness I purchased rubber floor mats for my car!). However, it couldn't have been as bad as the over flowing portable bathrooms! My mom was mortified by what her "princess" had done. Stan's parents… well, they know their son, and guess who married him - ME! I'm pretty sure they'll still claim me. We laughed and laughed about it later on.
I would have loved to have owned an FUD that day. I hadn't heard of them, but happened to be in an outdoor/camping store a few weeks later and saw them at the checkout counter. The name got my attention and I read the package - immediate purchase. I hadn't really been in another situation where I wished I had one, until I started kayak fishing. When the urge strikes and you’re in your boat, you may be in water too deep to get out of your boat, or maybe over too soft a bottom, or it's buggy! Whatever the situation, nine times out of ten, staying in your boat is going to be the better option.
This brings me to my testing phase! Guys can easily relieve themselves from their kayaks, especially with the stability of boats now on the market. I plan to purchase a couple different brands of FUDs and give them a try. I guess there's not much to it, really, but some gal has gotta do it! I'll report back to y'all soon!
Tight lines and empty bladders, ladies!